maybe a quarter-life crisis
We missed CR on Monday because my parents had a Labor Day dinner, complete with burgers and games, with the Scholzs and the Gregorys, and we really couldn't miss that. It was a lot of fun, but I'm a bit bummed about missing CR. Oh well--next week. We did have a good time at the potluck, playing Pit and eating a frickton of delicious food. It's nice to be making friends with people with whom we can be real.
Meeting Fuat at Starbucks for Turkish practice was an absolute blast. I was super nervous beforehand ("Oh man I don't know very much conversational Turkish he's going to think I'm so dumb"), but my fears were for naught. We sat and talked for an hour and a half while Alan watched the Texas-Rice game (Hookem!). I learned so much and took extensive notes, and he asked me questions about colloquial English, and it was very laid-back and enjoyable. I've never met anyone before who spoke Turkish, and it was exhilarating to finally get to share my love of the language with someone. We're going to continue meeting, if we can get our schedules in sync.
While looking at Facebook today, I saw "25 dakika önce" on someone's status ("25 minutes ago") and thought, "Wait, how did my Facebook language get switched back to English?". Then I realized that it's still in Turkish, I'm just so used to it that I didn't realize it.
Played at Cedar Ridge with Daddy on Sunday (and this is the last time for real, I think?), which was fun even though we had to get up early. We went to Napoli's with my family (and Nikki and Blake) afterward. That evening we had Foundations for the first time in forever, and it went really well; we talked about a lot of marriage-related stuff and we came away from it feeling stronger in our relationship with God and each other. Everyone went to I Heart Yogurt afterward and it was yummy.
School has been going remarkably well. I aced my first (incredibly easy) quiz on Oedipus. I've made friends with the guy who sits next to me, Ryan. Our teacher let us out of class early today. All kinds of good stuff.
Tuesday night we had Nikki and Blake over for the evening. We played Hearts and Sequence and watched the Shawshank Redemption. We were up way later than we should have been, but it was worth it.
Miscellaneous; I've been making a habit of taking Imma on walks, and it's been nice to get to know our neighborhood, get outdoors, and get Imma some exercise. I caught up with a friend who had some really big news that I'm not allowed to share yet. Also, crazy weather lately--tropical storms and tornados and then wait all of a sudden it's sweltering again. That's Texas for you. Also, Bee may be transferring to public school soon, so be praying for a smooth transition there.
I keep resolving to talk less about yoga (because I know it's not as interesting to everyone else as it is to me), but I keep reaching new milestones and wanting to document it. So as long as new things keep happening, I'm going to keep writing about it. Just skip the next paragraph if you want.
- I got into side crow for the first time today, as well as the variation with the scissored legs. I need to work on straightening my arms, but I'm pretty proud of myself for getting into it as a beginner. They don't even teach it in the regular classes (only it 84 Asanas - more on that later).
- Sunstone had a "Day of Free Yoga," and Joanna, Saralynn, and Brittany Rodgers all came with me to a Fire class. It was a lot of fun to share this passion with friends.
- I took my first "Metal" class. It's the most difficult of the five standard classes (Fire, Wood, Earth, Water, Metal) and the only one I hadn't tried yet. I was nervous about trying it, since I kept hearing people talking about how hard it was, but I decided that if the worst possible consequence of trying something new is that my pride could be hurt, it's worth trying. As it turns out, it was very challenging, but not excessively so, and I had a great time. I'm planning to make Metal a part of my regular class rotation.
- Today I hit another milestone: two classes back to back. I've been going to class every day, but I'd never done two in the same day before. My class ran a little long and the instructor remarked that the next class would be starting in 6 minutes, and I spontaneously decided to stay for the next one. So I ended up doing two and a half hours of yoga and it totally kicked my butt. I'm glad that I did it, though, and it's good practice for the three-hour 84 Asanas class that I'm eventually going to attempt.
And if you've made it all the way through this unexciting entry, you're rewarded with some rare disclosure! My depression has been pretty bad recently. I say recently, and I mean for the past...I don't know, I can't remember it ever not being bad. At any rate, I'm going to see a doctor soon and possibly give medication yet another try. Any prayers for that would certainly be appreciated. I'm hopeful that things won't always be this way. For a long time, I've tried to take the "accept that things will probably always be this way and just learn how to cope" approach, but I can't live that way. Without hope I really have no chance of making it. Getting my hopes up means that I may be disappointed yet again, but it's hard to have hope without getting your hopes up.
Please pray, also, for my relationship with God. I'm becoming aware of a lot of anger that I have towards Him, and I want to let go of it so that I can be close to Him again. Without Him, I won't be able to get anywhere in this life. I miss Him. I need to work through my anger issue. (By the way, this is a completely emotional issue, not a logical one, so don't bother trying to explain to me why I shouldn't be angry. Instead, just pray.)
I think that's all for now.
"Remember joy isn't a stranger to you. You are winning and you are strong. Love. Love first, love always, love forever." - Anne Rice
“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.” -Kahlil Gibran
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last night I heard my mama singing a song
Sorry for not responding to all your very insightful comments about beauty. I didn't have any helpful context or definitions that would make it easier to answer; they were pretty vague thoughts to begin with, so I'm not sure how to make it more clear.
My Theater professor has grown on me a lot, to the point where I am not annoyed by her at all and am actually growing kind of fond of her. Relatedly, at some point this semester I have to present a one-minute monologue. Any suggestions?
Yoga updates: I have been going more or less every weekday, and it's been having a noticeable effect on my physical and mental state. I tried a new kind of class, Water, and was actually not all that impressed by it; it was basically a Fire class with music, candles, and minimal instruction. In theory, this sounds nice and calming, but I came away from it feeling like I hadn't deepened my practice at all. I guess I appreciate instruction and critique more than I realized.
Birthday things: I'm two decades old and not a teenager anymore. True to my Tamez heritage, I celebrated for something like a week straight. (Who needs an excuse to party, really?) It started on Saturday, when Alan took me to Genghis Grill for dinner (oh the deliciousness of it all). When we got home, we had a crowd waiting at the house with balloons and streamers and food. As it turns out, Alan and thrown me my very first surprise party ever--I've always wanted one. We played lots of games (Paper Charades, the Name Game, Noah's Ark) and stayed up late laughing and talking. My favorite part of the whole evening was having all three sets of our parents together having a good time. Nikki and Blake were there, too, which was really cool.
CR went really well. I passed out bulletins and noted that I'm beginning to recognize a lot of faces. A woman from my closed group asked me to be her accountability partner, which thrilled me. And a handful of us organized a potluck for this Friday, which I'm way more excited about than you would believe if I told you.
The celebration continued on my actual birthday. The day actually started in a kind of sucky way; I woke up to the sound of shower water blasting and learned that when Alan tried to turn the water on, the entire faucet came off, leading to a geyser blasting from the wall for about 45 minutes before we managed to get the water turned off. Things got better from there, though. Alan worked from home, so after school I came home and got to spend some time with him. He even went to a yoga class with me (and he did very well--he said he enjoyed it more than he expected). In the evening we went over to my parents', where we hung out and played Boggle, ate fideo, and opened presents.
This year's loot list was quite sizable. I got several yoga accessories (a mat, a block, and a strap, as well as a pair of stretchy yoga capris), a Ross gift card with which I purchased four new shirts (which I love), a mouse-shaped cheese grater, a button-covered pillow, $20 in cash, a vanilla bundt cake, two books (Ann Coulter's Slander and Eireann Corrigan's Splintering), a piano bench with seat storage, flowers, an assortment of cards (including Andrew's memorable "It's Your 85th Birthday" contribution), and of course, The Road to Hell.
The next day (yesterday), Lauren came over mid-afternoon and we hung out and ate and talked. I also went with her to Alfred Angelo to buy my bridesmaid dress. It was a great, relaxing afternoon. I love spending time with friends.
Upcoming events about which I am excited: meeting Fuat, the Turkish man, at Starbucks for a language exchange this Saturday; a trip to Austin in October; buying a pet sugar glider sometime around Christmas.
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blah blah vampire emergency blah
Maybe no one else is interested in this but me...but it's my blog, and I think it's pretty interesting.
I wasn't just imagining it when I felt like my form was improving. Here is the shot of me in standing bow that I posted, what, a week or two ago? along with one from today.
The major difference here is the straightening of the legs. Eventually, it will look something like this. (Ugh, I can't believe I thought the first one was good.)
Also, did I mention that I'm super proud of having gotten my foot in Lord of the Dance? (It's a video still because I really just can't get into this fast enough for a ten second self-timer.)
And yes, I know it looks really bad right now (it will eventually look like this), but I couldn't even get this far two months ago. I can't wait to see what I'll be able to do in a year.
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a tear is only water, a sigh is only air
It's been a really great day.
Okay, so to start: I am officially stepping down as a volunteer at the Turning Point, as much as I loved it there, and joining the team at the Dallas Area Rape Crisis Center (DARCC). I'm really excited about this. It's a startup (they've only been staffed since January), so there's a lot of flexibility and potential that I'm really digging. I met with a woman there once to turn in my application (although it was almost a formality), and then again today to go over the agency-specific protocols. They do a lot of things differently from TTP--mostly good changes, I think. I'll go into that more later, maybe. Anyway, the woman told me that Sarah (volunteer coordinator at TTP) couldn't say enough good things about me, which made me feel good and was a nice send-off. I may never have a "real" job, but at least I know I'm good at non-profit, right?
Yoga--even the staggering amount that I already write about it doesn't do it justice. I feel completely transformed. I'm getting physically stronger, and more flexible, all the time. The actual time at the studio does wonders for me mentally; it's so good to just set aside a time to relax and listen to my body. It loves being pushed to the limit. (The instructor told me today that I'm "super flexy," which made me happy. ALSO, I got my flippin' foot in flippin' LORD OF THE DANCE the other day. If you do yoga you'll know how difficult this is.)
That was today. School started yesterday. I'm taking Theater and Government II; both of my professors are really annoying, but in their own special ways. One of them is at least entertaining in her annoyingness; the other is skull-numbingly boring. Oh well.
This past weekend, we had Alan's parents (both sets) over, along with Jake, Kylie, James, and Addi. It was so much fun. We had some really delicious food--we made chicken tortilla soup, Alan's mom brought cheesy potatoes, and Laura brought cheesecake--and they gave us housewarming gifts (a gorgeous plant and a bottle of white wine from Jesi & Paul, a Target gift card from Ronnie & Laura). Yay for our first real dinner guests!
As you may have seen, we had to have Trixie put down. She had the best life any mouse could ever have, and I'm so glad we got to have her as long as we did.
GTL:
- Got a free fridge!
- Had a fun roleplaying session here at the house with Daniel, Andrew, and Nikki.
- Alan has bought me flowers twice in the past week or so, just because.
- We cleaned and organized the entire house; we are now completely unpacked and everything looks great
- Chelsea
- Alan put up shelves for me
- My birthday's coming up
- ...and Alan has some kind of surprise planned for me ^-^
- Blake will be home from Korea tomorrow! My seester is pretty pumped.
- I found a Turkish guy living in the DFW area who's willing to meet up with me (with Alan present, of course) to do a language exchange
- A friend of mine who's pregnant is making her daughter's middle name Virginia after me
- Lauren is coming over next Wednesday and we're going to make a day of it to celebrate my birthday
- CR, and all my wonderful friends there
- Being a greeter at CR
- Kylie said to Mom (referring to the chicken tortilla soup), "Nana, I LOVE this soup!"
- Alan was put in charge of a project at work
- There are so many different kinds of cheese! It's wonderful.
- Saralynn is back from Hungary.
- Addi is expected to be walking by Christmas
- The Casa Linda Bakery is amazing. So far I've had some lemon thumbprint cookies and petit fours--so good, so convenient, so cheap. I'm going to have to be careful not to go too often.
- Alan is wonderful! I'm so infatuated with him.
- "If we don't deal with the past, it's not the past."
Poll Questions:
1. Asking people (specifically, people you don't know very well) about their tattoos (meaning, background, etc.): kosher or no? It can be a great conversation starter, but for some people, it's too personal.
2. Christians: Have you ever considered the possibility that beauty could be absolute? (My argument in a nutshell: God is always right; if God says that something is beautiful, and someone else says it is not, God is right and they are wrong; therefore beauty is absolute and not relative.) This has been on my mind a lot lately, although my still-forming opinion is open to being changed.
3. Do you have any good recipes to share? Bonus points if it involves strawberries and/or cheese in some way.
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If someone ever creates these pages, I will "become a fan" of them.
Telling People When You Dream About Them
Watching Movies Just to Make Fun of Them
Your Children Will Make Fun of Your Bumpit Someday
Wondering What to Do With the Food In Your Mouth When Someone Starts Praying After You've Already Started Eating
Going to the Public Restroom En Masse
I Learn The Hard Way Which of My Dishes Are Not Microwaveable
Clumsy People Who Feel That Bella Swan is Not Doing Them Any Favors
My GPS Might Be Useful If It Ever Had Satellite Reception
Instead Of Passive-Aggressively Joining Groups And Hoping the Appropriate People Notice, You Should Just Tell Them Whatever It Is You have to Say
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