somebody mixed my medicine
+ MONSTER GTL
- Alma is over a month old already
- Most days, I don't feel too tired
- The abundance of visitors we've had - Jennifer, Shasta, the Furnells, the Oprises, our landlord and her daughter, Alan's family, Fuat and his family...
- ...and all the gifts from way too many people to list
- Alan has extra vacation days out the wazoo
- GORGEOUS weather today
- My wonderful, handsome, supportive, encouraging husband
- A fun night of roleplaying
- Was able to help a girl on the crisis line
- My friend Brittany's husband won Top Shot
- Planning an awesome celebration for our Ultimate Frisbee group's first birthday
- Lauren is in town!
- Fringe, omv.
- Having a child makes me appreciate God's sacrifice of His Son in an entirely new way
- Lany finally got a Facebook
- Evanescence
- Evanescence's kick-rear new album, also called Evanescence
- The freaking amazing Evanescence concert we attended (I was in full fangirl mode the whole time - see my youtube channel for videos)
- Ordering my first alcoholic drink in public at said concert
- I'm back to prepregnancy weight, and almost back to prepregnancy shape
- Took my first postnatal yoga class, from one of my favorite teachers!
- It was great to do a bunch of poses that I haven't been able to do in almost a year
- Sunstone now allows premium members (like me) to bring a free guest any time we practice!
- The Rangers had their best season in franchise history
- Alma rolled from front to back twice in a row at only 22 days old. Already flaunting her strength.
- The two best photographers I know have taken pictures of my gorgeous baby
- Met another couple from our new Foundations group, and we hit it off very well
- My new project, scanning and uploading all our old family photos
- Our sweet new rat, Nancy
- How well Nancy and Harriet are getting along
- We've been getting more rain lately
- All the friends we ran into at Raise the Mark (Kenny, the Millers, Nicole, CRYSTAL)
- Going to Crystal's dance recital next week
- Alan and Cameron hilariously interviewing Occupy Dallas protestors
- Participating in a 40 Days for Life prayer vigil
- My Jo-girl
- Sent flowers to Ian's family--it's been four years today
- Dreams about people I miss
- Staying relatively on top of the to-do list
- ...relatedly, a sparkling clean house
- Alan's rockin' culinary skills
- Grapefruit juice
- Watching a scary movie with Bee late last night
- Alma's soft breathing while she sleeps
- God is God today and will still be God tomorrow
Category: None
I have to go now; I always have to go
GTL:
- I stumbled across some "drawings" Alan did of each member of our little family. Here is his rendition of the pets, and of us.
- Andain's first full-length album drops later this year!
- Re-reading Anna Karenina for the first time in ages is such a pleasure
- Texas in the Spring is the most beautiful thing ever
- I'm out of the first trimester! Thank God.
- Yoga is going fantastically well now that my energy is coming back
- Great new music discoveries
- A wonderful package from K
- My dear friend Betty
- My wonderful parents, who are such a shining example that people who have only met them a few times say that they aspire to be like them
- A night full of silliness and laughter with my whole family
- "Aunt Ammi" is going to come visit when the baby is born :]
- I'm super excited about intensive training this summer
- Getting to know all my wonderful instructors
- Unknowingly played a small part in a friend's (beautiful) new tattoo
- Went on a free date (because Randy works at a dine-in movie theater and can get us tickets any time--thanks, Randy!)
- Invited to an engagement shower for a couple from WM
- Lunch at Chick-fil-A today with Betty
- My sweet little unborn kiddo
- Slowly archiving and deleting all of my old livejournal posts and comments (going through them has been quite a trip)
- Wondering about things (is there an enduring self, and if so, can it be known?)
- 11:47
- My sexy husband
- All the amazing people who have touched my life over the years
Poll: Christians (and those familiar with the Christian faith), what do you think of this line (from a Relient K song): "But if grace receives all my weight / Then it becomes a crutch / And I don't want to walk with a crutch so much / That I can't stand taller than before"? The theology, that is, not the lyricism.
We talked to my PCP today about my medication, and he agreed that staying on Cymbalta is the wisest course of action. There isn't any research saying that it's harmful to the baby; there isn't any research saying that it's NOT harmful to the baby; there simply isn't research, period. Based on the state of my pre-medicated health, it's probably safer for the baby to risk the unknown. I'll also be added to the Cymbalta Pregnancy Registry so that my experience can help other women in this situation down the road.
"Here's what. Suppose you're married, you love your wife, but you become infatuated with another woman..."
"Excuse me, but I decidedly do not understand how I...just as I don't understand how I could pass by a bakery, as full as I am now, and steal a sweet roll."
me: also, bad news: Imma puked on the bed and then ate it
r.alan.beam: >.<
time to wash the sheets?
me: yeah
well
up to you
it's on your side
r.alan.beam: TIME TO WASH THE SHEETS
Category: None
this is the last song that I write 'til you tell me otherwise
CR was pretty great. Betty knew that I was having a rough day, so she brought me a huge stuffed Hello Kitty that I love. She and I sat by the big fireplace at Watermark and talked for about an hour before CR; she's so sweet. I went over to Andrew's with him and Betty afterward, and we ate sushi and watched the game. (Alan was watching it at BWW with some of his CR friends.)
Betty also invited me over for a movie night on Thursday. We ate fried rice with ham and eggs, and watched three movies (most of 17 Again and Taken, all of Blind Side). By the third movie and the third drink, we were both pretty out of it and ended up falling asleep snuggling on her couch. SO much fun.
On Friday I met up with Elison at Starbucks, since we had talked at Lauren's wedding about meeting up while she's in town. We talked for almost two hours; we've always been something of "kindred spirits," even when we go a long time without seeing each other.
Lauren called while I was with Elison and asked if we could hang out. She and I spent the evening together eating pizza, catching up, and playing Jenga, and then went over to my parents'.
I think I have a medical problem. It hasn't been verified by a doctor yet (I have an appointment on Monday), so there's still a chance that it's not as serious as my imagination tends to make it. At any rate, prayer would be appreciated. I'll elaborate when I'm ready.
Yoga funness abounds. After last week's Ultimate game, Madi and Taryn and I were talking about yoga, and they agreed to sign up for the 30 for $30 and come to a class with me. It was much fun to have them there; I went over to Madi's afterward and helped them with some of the postures.
Saturday and Sunday, 8-5 both days, was be my first workshop at Sunstone. It's a continuing education class for teachers, but it's open to students as well. It was fun, challenging, and super informative, and made me even more confident about taking the instructor training this summer. I also made some friends. Much fun.
GTL:
- My big sis, who is always there for me and gives the best advice
- Old YOT-peeps (and others if you're interested): Joann and I have resurrected IRC. Server: EsperNet, channel: #youthoftomorrow
- Read a lot of really good Psalms
- We had dinner at Genghis Grill with a couple from church, Tim and Brittany
- I have the best, sweetest, most wonderful man in the world as my husband
- Roleplaying was fun, especially since Madi and Taryn dropped in to observe for a bit
- Had dinner at Chili's with Alan's dad and Laura
- Blake is in town
- Went to another 84 Asanas class and it was tons of fun!
- Got a letter from my best friend
- God is my refuge when I need to escape from life, my strength when I need to face it
- I have a handful of dear friends who will be wearing bling on their left hands soon 8)
- God is still God, and though His goodness is unchanged, more of it is revealed to me every day.
Category: None
born this happy morning
Much to my delight, my desire for Christ is growing. I've been praying that this would happen. Now I want to make sure that I match this developing emotional desire with disciplined devotion. I don't want to waste this gift.
Christmas Eve was nice. Alan and I went to Watermark's service, which was absolutely packed (we got there early and still had to sit in the overflow).
The service was great, of course--very beautiful and moving, and challenging at the same time. Toward the end of the service they played a video in which a number of WM members gave what I call "before and after testimonies." Invariably, before meeting Christ, they spoke of hopelessness and purposelessness; after meeting Christ, they spoke of peace and joy.
As we lit candles and filed out of the church, I wondered if my life would ever have an "After," and if I would ever be normal, happy, the way Christians "should" be.
I realized, though, that something had radically changed; as I cried and wondered these things, I wasn't angry with God. Instead, I was sharing it with Him and He was comforting me. It's been a long time. When I realized this, I was completely uplifted even though the feelings remained. I think I can get through anything if I can stay intimate with Him.
I loved spending time with my family on Christmas Eve. I also made out like a bandit. Partial loot list: an Ikea gift card from Blake (I'm totally excited about spending this), a Ross gift card from Nikki (already spent this one on a shirt and a shower caddy), George W. Bush's memoir, Rick Perry's memoir, a Turkish Bible, an amp for my keyboard, AMC gift cards (I sense another date night on the horizon), gardening things from SL, poetry and a baby doll (don't ask) from Cameron, and a Casa Linda Bakery gift card. Oh, and I also got a handful of neat things in my stocking: a Chick-fil-A calendar, Dots, caramel Tim Tams, Kit Kats. Imma got a sweet personalized bandanna from Aunt Norma that looks adorable on her.
Taylor drove into Dallas for our ice skating date on the 26th. We met up at the Galleria, skated for about an hour and a half (and witnessed one kid leave patches of blood all over the ice after an unfortunate run-in with another skater) while talking and catching up, and then got Panda Express. She's so sweet, and I can't wait to be invited to her wedding.
Alan remains miserably sick. I feel pretty helpless about the whole situation and really want him to get better :(
GTL:
- Friends I can call at 2AM
- A mistake-riddled past that I can still think of and smile
- Learning that I don't have to be anyone's exclusive or favorite
- Melissa
- Yoga
- Creative solutions to problems
- Seeing the newly-married Norfleets at Chili's the other day (and a fun secret conversation with Lauren in the bathroom)
- "I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." -Psalm 28:13-14
- Was told after a strong morning yoga class that I have a great practice
- Picked up Betty from the airport (so good to see her again) and didn't get lost either on the way there or on the way back
- Nikki and Blake came over and we ate pizza and watched the Big Bang Theory
- Tentative resolutions between mutual friends
- Doing the right thing
- Nikki is 19 today
- Alan does not have strep or the flu
- "Still here, staggering on through the impossible, we remain...find my way to the beauty of one more day."
- God is still God, and He loves me, He loves me.
Category: None
one's still there and the other feels nothing
Yesterday morning, Alan's car wouldn't start. That's what I get for praying that I would learn to depend on God's provision more and worry less, right? ;) By the grace of God, I have not spent a single minute worrying about it (I mean it, I really haven't).
At CR on Monday, one of the questions we answered was "How has your attitude improved since you have been in recovery?" The answer surprised and encouraged me; I didn't realize things had improved so significantly. Since the formation of our closed group in July, I have only had two incidents of self-injury; it hasn't even been a real issue. I'm learning to relax my death grip on my life and trust God (it's nice to quit worrying for awhile). I have real, healthy friendships with people who care about me and are there for me. I'm okay letting them be here for me. I'm there for them. I'm renewing old friendships with people I want to keep in my life; I'm letting go of friendships that hurt and stress me. I'm learning that I'm not a victim and I can quit acting like one. I'm letting go of my anger towards God and I desire Him more and more every day. I read my Bible every day and always come away glad that I did.
GTL:
- Saturday is Texas Health Presbyterian day at Six Flags! (Translation: Alan and I get to go for FREE.)
- Planning to meet up with Angela when we go to Atlanta
- Caught up with my big sis today
- Betty! She and Andrew are the best things to happen to us in a long time. We went to Panda Express with them after CR on Monday, and today I met Betty for lunch. LOVE that girl.
- I let go of something that I should have let go of a long time ago, and I'm so glad I did
- My group project seems to be going well. They liked my idea :)
- People as sexy as Alan should never be allowed to wear a shirt. I love watching him do this P90X thing.
- God is always looking out for me and providing for me.
- Example of the above: insurance covered all but $1500 of my doctor bills, heck yeah
- Lauren's wedding shower went well
- I am busily organizing details of her wedding photography
- Eireann Corrigan and her sweet emails and overall awesomeness
- Alan has been reading to me every night and I love it. We're working through Henry 3 right now.
- The Bible
- My sweet animals
- We're about to go over to Daniel's to hang out and watch a movie or something
- Marten and Dora might break up?
- Back rubs
- Learning to live, learning to fall
- Not letting the stress and annoyances of multi-family holidays ruin the holiday season for me
- Beautiful weather
- Turkish
Category: None
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